Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
