So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she smelled like a LAN party
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize