a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to summon your inner elephant
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize