He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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