Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
