By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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