Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
