Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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