He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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