Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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