U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
