rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
