I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Randomize
