I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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