I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
