belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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