Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
