The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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