it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
