we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
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whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
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So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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