I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
