Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
