Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
