When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
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If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
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You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?