why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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