That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.