I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??