so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
