I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!