Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.