Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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