The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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