Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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