Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
