we have officially lost it.
I'm gonna have a badass scar
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize