i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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