the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
