I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
