i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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