brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
