Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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