your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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