It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
