Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
