i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
