If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
