hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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