The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
