My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
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We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
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Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize