I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
this will be a night to untag.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
