I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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