Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize