she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
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No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
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How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I think a kid would responsible me up
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
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