did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize