We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
