you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
