dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
