also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
