Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
