seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I woke up under a house in Key West
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