peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
