she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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