this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
