ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
not ubering you a puppy
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
