FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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