Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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