I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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